In Too Deep (2005) - Ronica Black

I picked up Ronica Black's In Too Deep because it was given wildly positive reviews on a number of lesbian blogs. To which I say - really? Not that I didn't enjoy it (I did! I did! and I find myself thinking of it more than is healthy) but that despite being enjoyable, it isn't a particularly good book. The plot is ok, and not necessarily better or worse than any other lesbian romance novel, but the writing is really hit or miss in places.

Here's the premise - Gabrielle is doing undercover investigative work into the professional and personal life of Xena, the owner of a popular lesbian nightclub slash lovenest for Xena. For reals, I'm not convinced the entire nightclub isn't basically just a really elaborate production intended to ensure that Xena never wants for willing bodies. E.g., she creepily watches the women who walk around her bar via security cam and thus selects her sexual partner for the evening.

Anyway, Xena's suspected of being a murderess who hates men and stuff. So Gabrielle goes undercover as a lesbian to trap her in her web of evil lesbian man-hating lies. HOWEVER. Because loving a woman is intense and mindblowing and emotionally devastating in the best possible way (oh my God, I cannot begin to tell you how much this sentiment - which the novel hammered home - bothered me! just because you have sex with someone does not mean you have to cry or share your feelings or acknowledge your soulbond!), Gabrielle soon discovers that her disguise is in fact not a disguise at all. And that instead of trapping Xena, she has become TRAPPED. Spoiler alert, there's a sequel, and it's called Deeper. (To be reviewed later).

So part of the book is a whodunit, which actually could be pretty interesting if you seriously consider Xena to be a murder suspect. Could Xena have done it? Is this a Xena for the 21st century? (Or a pre-redemption-by-Gabrielle's-love Xena?) It's a question for the ages.

However, most of the book is like this:

"Let me taste you, let me run my tongue up deep into your hive." (Perhaps the literal meaning of "in too deep"? Is there chinning involved?)

"She felt pressure like she needed to pee, yet nothing was happening. With a wad of toilet paper, she reached down to wipe out of habit. The paper slid across her and she brought it back up to examine it. 'What the hell?' She was wet. Not wet from the water, but wet with slick juices. ... 'Oh my God, she whispered to herself as she discovered the abundance of warm silk." (Ew. Not sexy at all).

"I know what happens on leather night. You can't fool me. Did she tie you up? Make you her little suck pig?" (This has become one of my favorite things to say now).

"Patricia eased herself out, and Erin let out a hurried breath at the birth of the writer's fingers." (Again, childbirth = terrible pain! a beautiful miracle and you give the gift of life, yeah, but NOT SOMETHING you want to associate with sexytimes with your special lady!)

"Patricia ... crawled atop Erin like a predator who had hunted for years for this one special prey." (When I get down, I enjoy feeling as if I'm about to be ripped limb from limb by my lover).

This is what made In Too Deep truly special for me. It's not that this language is necessarily different from other romance novels, but while a potentially creepy and unsettling metaphor might be used to describe lesbian lovemaking a handful of times in another book, In Too Deep creates "an erotic sandwich in which she [disturbing metaphors about sex] was the filling." (Also a direct quote. Happy reading).

Rating: one-and-a-half E kisses out of five.*
*ANGIE HARMON APPEARS IN THIS BOOK. SHE GIVES YOU E-KISSES. (When she kisses you, she forces you to take a drug. And yes, Angie Harmon is named. Lololol).